Noor Pannu could not believe it. hisJust diagnosed him . But she did not trust him. She reads that people with the disorder get into fights and get upset with the law, and he was not there at all.
“It took me a long time to accept this,” she says. “It was a lot of confusion, honestly.”
Pannu is a high energy 30-year-old full of ideas and enthusiasm. She leads the digital strategy for an e-commerce company in Winnipeg, Canada. She had many promotions and good relations with her colleagues. Still, he has a difficult time being productive, focused and managingRegarding the time limit. After years of having those symptoms and some disturbing memory, she decided to seek the help of 29.
“I went to my family doctor and I told him, ‘I think I’m going crazy. Something is serious with me.
“It took me about 6 months to get on with it and start, “She says. She feared stigma around both of them Problems and ADHD. “How people see it: ‘People with ADHD are not productive right now. They are not great to work with. They don’t deliver well. They can’t be trusted.’ And they are actually other There are bad things to say about people. “
The distrust and denial that Pannu felt is about some outward emotion that you may feel as an adult after knowing that you have ADHD. First of all, there are all the emotions that come with getting a diagnosis of a condition that you have dealt with throughout your life. You might feel, Relief, or both. Again, the fact that people with ADHD often feel emotions more strongly than other people.
“AdhdExperiences emotions in a great way, ”says Amy Moore, PhD, a cognitive psychologist with LearningRx in Colorado Springs, CO, and vice president of research at the Gibson Institute of Cognitive Research. “Every emotion gets bigger and greater and increases. That grief can seem overwhelming. And relief can be a feeling of relief.
coming to terms
An ADHD support group helped Pannu slowly accept her diagnosis. She met people with similar symptoms, asked them questions and shared her experiences. “If it wasn’t for them,” she says, “I wouldn’t have started my medication and I would probably still be confused.”
Once he started taking stimulant medication, he felt as if he had started tapping his brain to its full potential. She now plans to pursue a master’s degree in business. She is studying for the GMAT Business School entrance exam and is aiming for higher scores.
Despite her high hopes for the future, Pannu is disappointed that she had not learned ADHD before. She grew up in India, where she says stigma about women, as well as a lack of awareness about clutter, Kept him from being diagnosed earlier in life.
“I wish I knew about this diagnosis sooner. I did better in my academics and accomplished something else.” I think there was a lot more that I could do in my life. “
Grief is one of the main feelings that you can feel when you learn that you have late ADHDOr adulthood, says psychologist Moore.
“If you had just learned, you would have realized that your life could be so much easier. You take the loss of the life you could have the whole time. And you grieve the loss of ideal adulthood that you portrayed for yourself, ”she says.
Some people feel sad as well as angry: “Anger that no one knows [your ADHD] Before, or that nobody had done anything about it before – and that you have been suffering for so long without explanation or without help. “
Pannu did not get the necessary help until he was about 30 years old. But now that she has accepted her diagnosis, she is understanding herself better. And he has a healthy sense of who he is.
“I always thought I was weird. I didn’t know what kind of weird she was, “she laughs. “But I know now.”
Relieved to know the truth
When Melissa Carroll’s doctor diagnosed her with ADHD last year, a 34-year-old credit analyst in Nashville was grateful to learn of this news. After years of struggle to complete tasks, further her education, and put various together, She felt at peace with the diagnosis.
“I’m a little all over the place, and not everyone can keep up with him,” Carroll said, describing what it might take for others to interact with him. She says her thoughts carry meaning in her head, “but trying to conduct that conversation or make sense in a professional setting is sometimes difficult.” She says she also struggles to follow-through. “It is difficult to operate in one direction long enough to reach the next stage.”
The treatment changed that. He started taking stimulant medications, which improved him. It also made him easier , Which he believes has been partially precipitated for decades . He had a difficult childhood without a very stable home life. Adults had a tendency to dismiss her symptoms as Carol “just acting out”.
She says, “You mold life so much that you get used to spinning your wheels, but at some point you burn yourself spinning your wheels, and you give up.”
Medicine andHelped Carroll gain traction. It all started with This led him to hope that life could be better.
It is common to feel relaxed when you learn, Says cognitive psychologist Moore. “The initial feeling of relief comes from the fact that you finally have this explanation for your deficit. There is a reason you struggled in school and relationships. Relief is why you struggle with time management and organization for a real Name. “
After receiving the diagnosis, Carroll took steps to become better organized. “If I need lists or I need an app to remind me which rooms I need to clean, or in what order I need to do things, it’s okay for me to do that, “She says.
She told everyone that she knew she had ADHD. Many people were not surprised. “I kept drifting. I didn’t realize it was so obvious to some people – because it wasn’t for me,” she laughs. “I was excited to be able to say, ‘I found out about this, and it makes sense.” I think this is the thing that I am missing. “
An emotional ‘tug of war’
Moore can relate to Carroll’s excitement. He felt the same way when he found out that at the age of 20, he had ADHD.
“I was so excited that I had a name that was going on with me that I wanted everyone in the world to know,” she says. “I sang it from the rooftops.”
Moore found out that she had ADHD in college in the late 80s. “Earlier, only those who were hyperactive little boys were found out. So mainly for a girl with inattentive ADHD, I was one of those people who fell through the cracks. “
When she was a child, her parents gave her a highly structured home life. Once she went to college, however, she struggled to stay organized and manage her time. But her mother, a child development specialist, worked with children around the time they were beginning to diagnose ADHD. When she recognized the signs in her daughter, she urged Moore to see a doctor about it.
After Moore learned she had the disorder, she went on stimulant medication and left through college, graduate school, and a doctoral program.
“I didn’t feel as sad as I felt relief,” she says. “It could be because in the 80s, it was not a diagnosis that was widespread. Perhaps if I had been going through the same situation after two decades, I would have known that they could have done something else or not. “
Moore sees many people who later receive a diagnosis, going through a “path of war” amid grief and relief.
Manage big emotions
Treatment such as medication and cognitive behaviorHelp many adults with ADHD handle their lives and their emotions. Moore says that it is also important to understand the major cause of these big feelings. ADHD affects thinking skills called executive functions. These include organizational skills, working memory, focus and the ability to control your emotions. A treatment called cognitive training, or Can enhance these skills, Moore says.
“Cognitive training is participation in intensive repetitive mental tasks that directly target those skills. Once you strengthen them, you will get the benefit of emotional regulation, because it is askill
It can also help set boundaries in your life, she says. If you work in an office, for example, you can stick a do-not-disturb sign on your door or cubicle if you need extra quiet to concentrate. Or you can talk openly with your boss about your ADHD and ask them to take you to a less busy part of the office, so that you can be as productive as possible.
Meeting other people with ADHD can also be a big pick-up. “Something surprising happens in support groups,” Moore says. “Just the idea that you are not experiencing something alone is a powerful therapeutic aspect.”
If you are new, Consider talking to your close family and friends about it. “If you educate your loved ones, and they are able to look at your reactions and say, ‘Hey, is it because they have ADHD that they are responding to me that way?” They can show you a little more grace, Moore says.